The Best 40 Years.

So.... I've been hounded on for not blogging in a million days, so I better do it now.

The thing I want to blog about is: the marvelous Salt Lake Temple, and Temple Square.
I absolutely love Temple Square! I love it on a normal day, but it's especially gorgeous during the winter season when it's all lit up. I have some pretty great memories of this place from last year and a trip with a special friend of mine, but this year I made new memories!

I got to go three times in one week! It was the week before finals, and I was way stressed out, but I am privileged enough to live not too far from the city, so I got to go. It was exactly what I needed..

The first night I went with my ward for FHE. Our ward piled onto the Front Runner and rode down... that was an entertaining ride. We played card games and I really love Alyssa, Brittani, and Leah! :) The four of us walked around and had a great time.

The next time I went was more personal. I went with my friend Abram.. he wasn't able to come with us for FHE and he really wanted to go, so I told him I would go with him on the weekend. Before we walked around and saw the lights we went to the Joseph Smith movie. I hadn't ever seen it before, and I can say my view of the world was differently after watching the hardships the early saints went through. I love them all so much, and I commend them for their faith.

The last time I went was the Sunday before I went home. Boy was it ever entertaining! :) There was some pretty "dense" fog in Utah that night, and the drive down was something of a treat. ;) I helped Kathryn study for a microbiology test she needed to take, and I was laughing because I couldn't pronounce half the words. She's a smarty though, so she knew what I meant...
I met some boys that my girl's work with at Papa Murphey's.. named Gage and Derek.. they were hilarious and I just laughed. Turns out the temple is AMAZING when it's foggy and I was so happy this fog rolled around. It was totally worth it.

The strangest thing happened while we were in front of the reflection pool. I was taking a picture and I turned around and I saw a familiar face... but you know when you see someone you think you know, but it's been a long time so you aren't for sure if it was them or not? Well that's what happened to me, and then it registered in my brain that it was my old bishop's wife. It was such a pleasant surprise. I had been praying I would run in to someone I knew on Temple Square... I just needed to feel that little piece of home to get me through exams. This was my answer and the three of us had a good chat... Laura stalked the whole event.

Just after I said goodbye to the Karen's applause came from across the pool, and we looked to see that a couple had just gotten engaged. Laura freaked out. Seriously. She yelled congratulations across the way, and then we ran into them again in front of the temple where she again congratulated them. Total strangers. We judged her a little bit.... but she congratulated them like 8 times. Then, we decided to have our own engagement... so Kels and I got down on one knee and asked Laura for her hand in marriage.. it was quite the moment.

As fun as the trips were to Temple Square, they held something special for me too. I love this gospel, and it's always a testimony to me to know that sacred work goes on inside of these buildings. So much effort went into the building of this particular temple, and I'm grateful that I can live worthily to enter its walls. I love my Savior Jesus Christ, I know He lives, and that He is always there to 'comfort me when faint.' He is a man of miracles, and I look forward with eagerness to the day when He comes again and I can meet Him.

Blessings in Disguise

Okay. I have to admit that I have NEVER been a fan of single's wards. I just miss my family ward. I wasn't ever a really big fan on relief society either, until tonight. I guess the Lord has a pretty good idea of what He's doing. :) I am one of three heads of the Relief Society activity committee in our small little ward. I was nervous at first and kind of didn't want to because that means I'm obligated to set up, attend, and take down all activities, but tonight was perfect!

We made the cutest little crafts. We had not a whole lot of girls come, but we had a blast! We made visiting teaching reminders. They are soooo cute! I had the hardest time picking which one I wanted at the end. And I met a couple new friends! And.. finally I met Danielle, the second councillor in our presidency and the one in charge of the activities.

I don't know what I was thinking by not attending these activities before! I just love all the girls in my ward. They are awesome and I have a feeling this year is going to be a good year. I'm grateful for the Lord, He knows where I need to be and what I need to be doing. I'm glad I have this calling! It's going to be fun. I love the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I'm so glad to be a member. The Relief Society is just a bunch of eternal sisters, for we are all truly sisters in Zion. I just love it! :)

Here are the 5 crafts that I made:

The top says: "I can be the Lord's hands through visiting teaching."

Then there's a thing to flip at the bottom that says "Feed my sheep." and "Sheep fed."

They are refrigerator magnets. Best idea ever! I just love it! :)

This is the one that I kept: He's pretty cute!

A Mark in History

Hannah Lorraine Baker.

Born: July 4, 2002.. I think... baha.

I remember everything about the day Hannah was born. My mom went into the hospital, and I was freaking out! I just knew this was

the day I would FINALLY get my sister. My parents didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, or if they did they never told me... so I was in suspense. I remember, as a 10 year old girl, praying every night that Heavenly Father please bless me with a sister... Then I would find myself thinking that was selfish, so I'd pray that the baby would be healthy and

I would love it no matter what, but I would really love to have a sister!

I was the only girl for so long, I didn't know what it was like to have a sister, and I was jealous of all my friends! I wanted so desperately to not be the only girl! Anyway.. back to the story...

My mom went into the hospital, but the labor process was taking forever, and I was on a Southern Alberta soccer team, and we had a game scheduled for that day. I wasn't going to go, because I would have a new sibling soon, but my dad came home to shower and said it was taking a really long time so I might as well just go play... so I packed up my stuff, very reluctantly, and headed to the school to catch a ride.

As we were waiting in front of

the school for our team to arrive to get ready to go I remember several times I walked into the street and glanced down the road towards the hospital just hoping to see my big white van driving to the school. I needed news. Anything. As we were about to leave I spotted my van at the post office! My heart was racing, and I knew the baby had arrived. I just knew it. My dad pulled in and I ran up to the window. Dad rolled down his window and said with a solemn expression on his face, "Jess, I'm sorry to inform you..." My heart sunk into my toes. I couldn't face life with another brother. I just couldn't do it. Tears bubbled their way to the surface and I wanted to protest. "But.. you have a sister!" I lost ALL control of myself then. I started jumping up and down and screaming at the top of my lungs. I cried and screamed and rejoiced. FINALLY. After nearly 11 years of life, I had finally gotten my longest and most sincere desire.

My dad insisted that I still go and play, so I played my heart out. Then I was taken home and my dad told me

I had to shower because the baby would get sick if I didn't. I had the fastest shower of my life, and then my dad took me to the hospital. I was the first one to hold her! She was so precious. I just cried. I instantly fell in love with her. And I have been ever since that day.

I was her number one fan. Her little super mom. And rather bossy. Nothing was going to hurt this little girl as long as I was around. She loved me too, and preferred me to anybody. When she was old enough she was moved into my room of course!

I was in absolute bliss. I loved watching her grow up. Being at school and 12 hours away from her kills me. I'm missing out on the growing years.

It's a challenge every time I leave. She has such a sweet spirit. Sometimes she drives me crazy, but I wouldn't trade her for anything! She is me when I was a little girl. She absolutely adores little kids, babies especially, just like me. She's a little super mom, and I have no doubt that her passion for kids will grow with her, just like it did with me. She's welcome to babysit my kids anytime! :)

I just love this little girl so much.

She can be very temperamental, and especially moody... but that's just her personality. She's hilarious, and she's got quite a crush on a little boy. She's going to be a heart breaker, because she's already drop dead gorgeous. Those baby blues will attract in all the men. I wish there were words to describe her and the love I have for her. But you all know how I feel.

Memories of Home.

I have been inspired to write about home by a friend of mine.. His words actually inspire me to think deeper about life, and I love it! :) Thanks G.H.Z... you're great!

Sometimes I wish time would just stand still. I remember they always told us that it would never be the same when we transitioned from Jr. High into High School, but of course we didn't believe them. Lo and behold, they were right. They said the same thing about graduation. And guess what? They were right again. I miss home.

Time has changed Raymond, the town's just not the same. Unfamiliar faces replace the faces I used to know. There isn't a part of town that time hasn't touched. I go home and feel a little like a stranger. So much is changing.

The hardest part about being away is the loss of friendships. The strongest of friendships will survive, through thick and thin, joy and pain, marriage and families, and time.. but most will be lost. I have so many wonderful friends! They are progressing in different areas of life, and I love them all so much, but it's a bit of a challenge to take a back seat.. it feels like of like going from being part of some great game to a spectator on the outside. Which I understand completely, hundreds of miles is quite a separation. Everyone needs friends close to them, that they can communicate with face to face on a daily basis. I've made new friends, but I just miss my girls

back home!

I miss my dad. I miss my mom. Brigham and Tyler a bit.. ;) .. but what I miss the most is a pair of sparkling blue eyes and full head of blonde hair... Hannah. I'll post about her in a bit. :) My dad and I have an odd relationship. Him, Justin, and.. newly found Jacob.. just have this way about teasing me. It's a good kind. They can get away with it. Nobody else can. I find it strange. But I love them.

Almost more than anyone else on earth I love my dad.. I miss being close to him. When I live at home we stay up late on Friday nights, snuggle on the couch (yes I still LOVE to cuddle with my dad), and watch TLC or Discovery. Usually we'd switch between being absolutely blown away by the creations on 'Cake Boss' or 'Ace of Cakes' to gripping the chairs as the 'Ice Road Truckers' went skidding down the mountains. I absolutely love and admire this man. My old man is one of the best. :)

Nineteen.

Being nineteen is:

A Joy.

An emotional roller coaster.

A challenge.

An adventure.

A turning point.

A learning experience.

Nineteen is weird.

In our church, nineteen is the age that men are called to go on missions. Nineteen is the age my oldest brother left me, a struggling, self-conscious, high school student, to serve the Lord. This was my first real experience with missionary work, and one I'll never forget. It took a long time before I was okay with him being gone... I cried more then than I ever had in my life. But soon enough I learned the value of true friendship, and being close to someone through the Lord. I thrived on his power, his oneness with the Spirit, and his ability to sort out my hardships...even while he was hundreds of miles away. Justin's choice to serve a mission was a pivotal point in my life.

The move to Utah for school was challenging. A number of things got me through... including his letters to me. He helped me with the change, and I soon understood the reasons he was so passionate about Utah and his determination to reside here. Through him and his advice, I found a home in this state, and I love him for helping me see.

Since my experience with Justin, I've had many more encounters with missionaries. Being nineteen myself, I'm now of the age where my friends are serving missions. "It's not always easy, but it's always worth it" comes to mind when I think of my experiences. I could list all the missionaries I absolutely love, but I won't. :)

I love the changes I see in the way they act, the way they 'talk', and the huge spiritual leap they make as they submerse themselves in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love hearing from them.. like I've said before, I live day to day checking the mailbox. Sometimes I'll get 3 letters a week, sometimes only 1.. but it doesn't matter the number. All that matters is that these boys, or men I should say, are growing and I get to be a part of it.

I love the letters that make me smile. The ones that make me laugh. The ones that bring tears too close to the surface. I love the words of inspiration written to me. Each missionary writes a little something that I need to hear.. it just amazes me that they can have direction in their writing to what I need in my life. I love the stories they share that make me slap my forehead and whisper "embarrassing!".

Each missionary is unique, no one ever the same. This is a huge blessing, and it's so amazing to have such wonderful friends! Being nineteen is weird, but it's worth it. With each letter written a small portion of my life is changed. I'm becoming a new person through them. It's such a wonderful experience!

As hard as it is to see them go, it's going to be ever better when they come home changed men! And I get to be a part of the process. It means the world to me, and I wouldn't choose it any other way.

I've gotten a few letters this week, each with words of inspiration and admiration. I love to get mail, so if you ever want to send me something... just let me know! :) Care packages are always nice... not that I'm hinting or anything... ;)

A Weekend to Remember.

I've had a few experiences lately that have left me wondering..

What if I'm not cut out to be a pharmacist. Classes are great, but I just have this HUGE sense of dread and fear toward Organic Chemistry.. and the possible fact that I could be stuck doing pre requisites at Weber FOREVER.. or, that I get married before I get the chance to go that far... I know I want it so badly, but there are a few obstacles that just have me wondering...

Our school was fortunate enough to have "fall break". HA! What a joke. We had Friday off of school, so my cousin Dakota and I drove down to Rexburg, ID on Thursday afternoon and spent the weekend there. I fell in love with that town. Which leaves me wondering... what if I picked the wrong school? But with this question comes the answer. I know I didn't, because I was led here by Divine inspiration. And without this school I wouldn't have met Laura Lynn.. and without her I'd have no reason to be here. So, I know I chose right, but I think I would have been happy at BYU-I. Minus the dress code! And curfew... okay, I know Weber was right for me, but being away from my best friend is hard! Especially since he doesn't have Verizon anymore and I can't call him for free... curses!

The weekend was so amazing! We got there and the dumb kid wasn't even home, so we went to Mandi and Tyson's and they weren't home either. So I pulled out my psychology book and did some reading until Justin came and got us. We only had some minor car issues.... that won't be discussed further.. Dakota knows, and she's the only one who knows.. :) Justin had a soccer game that night, so we walked to the soccer fields and watched. They won! :) woot. I re-met David Epps who served his mission with Justin in SLC. I had met him once before on the last day of the mission, I guess, I met A LOT of missionaries going home that day and, don't tell him, but I didn't remember! baha. After the game Dakota, Kevin, and I made an apple crisp. It was baking when curfew came so I didn't even get to taste it until the next morning. Curses!

Friday brought homework. But, that apple crisp was DANG good :) I was proud of myself. We hung around, watched Arrested Development ALL day long, and finally got out at 4:30 to play some soccer. I was in jeans and boots.. yep real prepared... but it was the BEST cardio workout I'd had for weeks. It felt so good to just be playing, semi-competitively, and as a defender. I had a blast! After that my body hurt. So bad I wanted to just sit down and never get up.. but we went to Stockman's for "All you can eat steak" and it was delicious. I laughed so hard. David just kept making me laugh, for no reason, and then Justin would laugh his high pitched giggle and I would laugh even harder, so David would laugh.. it lasted for quite some time. We were out of control. But I loved it! :) I was so exhausted that I fell asleep in "Vertical Limit" and just went to bed.

Saturday was the day I had planned on leaving, but because Justin has such a persuasive power over me, yes I know it's horrible, I stayed. We went to a haunted straw maze that night, and I wasn't too keen on the idea. We discussed just not going, but were convinced that we should. I was scared. No, terrified. I can't describe to you the emotions I had... because you wouldn't understand. But it was freaky. Not to mention I got split off from everyone I knew. Luckily I had Tiffany. She's Justin's FHE sister, and my new friend! We clung to each other the whole time. After 40 minutes of feeling panic we finally reached the end of the maze and I sprinted through the tunnel for dear life! After Justin and Kenzie made it out of the maze we went to Big Judd's for supper. It was delicious! Wow. On the drive to and from, Gage and I talked. He's so intelligent. I wish I knew everything he did!

Oh, I forgot to mention the hours we spent Saturday afternoon playing Settlers... that game gets pretty intense with Justin, Gage, and Cameron playing. I let Cameron take over my spot and just observed. I laughed. A lot.

So.. Even though I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, I sometimes question it. I had an incredible weekend with my family and friends, and I just wish there was a way for me to be closer.. Oh well. I'll be in Rexburg as often as my schedule permits me to be. And ROCKET SUMMER is only a few weeks away and I'll be with those amazing guys again! :) Woot!

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things*

So.. I just have a desire to share the things I love with this virtual blogging world. Secretly I'm just blogging because I need to rest my hand from writing letters... :)

The BEST musical ever created was The Sound of Music. I have loved this movie since I was a child. We would watch it all the time as a family, and I just fell in love with it. It happens to be my number one pick for any movie. There are a few reasons why I love it so much. One major reason being it reminds me of my own family. Our family is SO musically blessed.. we all get it from my Grandpa Rex. I never had the chance to meet this wonderful man, but I have a part of him in me with music. We all do. Whenever we are together we always sing. Always. Each person has their own ability, but put us together and it's magical. Another reason is that in my own mind I picture my Grandpa Rex as someone like Captain Von Trapp. From the pictures I've seen he kind of looks, to me, like Christopher Plummer... call me crazy, but that's just how I picture my Grandpa. I look forward with great excitement at the chance I'll have to meet him some day. I love my family, and admire each and every one of them. :)

I love technology. Tonight I had the privilege to talk to 4 of the most important people in my life. First I got to talk to my parents. These two people are the most incredible in the world. They were making salsa, which made me uber jealous because I just LOVE home made salsa, but anyway.. I got to talk to them and hear how proud they are of me and the things I'm doing in my life.. and yes, to hear my dad tease me. There's just something about the way he says things to me that just makes me love him so much. :) My mom is wonderful. I took for granted our relationship when I lived at home, and now that she's so tech savvy with a cellphone, I get to talk to her a lot more and we're closer than we ever have been before! Then I talked to Carlene Janet Palmer. She is so wonderful. I just love her to bits! She's a thousand miles away, but it's like we're not even apart. Lastly I talked to Stephanie Lynn Drew. I love her more than words can describe. She is my best friend. I couldn't live without her, and I am so glad I had the chance to see her. She's so strong, and an amazing source of strength to me. I just love each of these people and am so grateful for the support they give me! :)

I love little kids. I love little kids who call me "Jessica Baker." Never Jessica. Always Jessica Baker. These three little kids are the most polite, well mannered kids that ever walked the earth. I am so glad I have had the opportunity over the last two years to get to know them and have them bless my life. They are truly remarkable. I love babysitting, and I don't get the chance very often anymore, but every time I do I just love it! All children just have such sweet and inspiring personalities. They bless my life each time I'm around them, and a lot is to be learned from them. After all, we have been counseled to 'become like little children'. I hope that I can take from their spirits and become a better person. Plus, nothing beats the innocence of a child. They say the cutest things, and I just can't help but laugh sometimes. :)

I love mail. I live day to day checking the mailbox for anything. I have a lot of friends out of access to me right now, and each time I open the box and find something there my heart is filled with joy! I'm the worst replier ever, but I try my best.

The thing I love most is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so proud to be a member of His church. I love missionaries who devote two years of their lives to serve Him and bring people in. I love the friendliness of the Saints, and the people in my ward! No matter where you go you will always be welcomed, and that is way comforting! There is so much support and comfort in the church, from members, friends, teachers, and mostly from Christ himself. He knows each of us and the struggles we go through on a daily basis, He's been there for us all. I love the Plan of Salvation and the fact that I can and WILL see my Grandpa Rex again. I know I will.

I love friends. I love to laugh with them, cry with them, hike with them, swim with them, work out, and just be crazy. I love to be a friend, and I try every day to be the kind of friend that is reliable and trustworthy. Everyone needs someone, and I want to be that for someone in need.

I have a lot of other loves, and maybe I'll save those for another day. I need to go to bed, because I have an early Public Speaking class that I do NOT love. :)

I Have Been Blessed.

This weekend was absolutely, one hundred percent, what I needed.

I've been having to deal with a lot of stuff lately. problems, schoolwork, emotions and feelings, and all of it just came crashing down on me all at once. This week was great, because I was able to sit down and talk with 3 of my very best friends, separately, and each gave me advice on what to do. I have many more best friends than this, but these three especially helped me out.

First was my newest best friend Joshua Brothers. All I can say is: what an INCREDIBLE person. He is always there for me, and has just the right thing to say to help me feel better. The best thing about him is that he cares. He cares enough to listen, he cares enough to act, and he cares enough to ask. He's a huge example to me of everything right, and I try and help him the best I can when he needs it. I absolutely love when he plays the violin! It's therapy in and of itself just to listen. Pure glory. :)

Second was my very best friend Laura Stoddard. I can't even describe to you our friendship. It is crazy, wonderful, ridiculous, hilarious, awkward, embarrassing.. but most of all a blessing. I love her so much, and will have the utmost gratitude for my Father in Heaven for crossing our paths. This year our lives are so hectic and busy that we hardly get time to spend together. We made it a goal this semester to go to the temple together every Thursday morning, and it's been a huge strength to our friendship! Often, this is the only time of the week we see each other, and it's always a good, uplifting time. A time to vent, to listen, and to laugh. I love her an incredible amount, and I know that no matter where life takes us, she will remain a substantial part of my life forever!

Third. My very best friend in the whole wide world, Justin Baker. He is currently going to BYU-I, in Rexburg, Idaho, and I miss him more than anyone in the world. He and Gage (his hilarious roommate) can down for conference, and we went to the Saturday afternoon session. He is such a brat, and just teases me all the time, but all in all I love him to pieces. We got to talk, he had called me on the phone on Friday and he really helped with a lot of my stress. His solution to everything: just kiss 'em. What a brat. I was so glad I got to see him. When he found us at the conference center he wrapped me up in a big hug and I felt, to a degree, completed again.

The best part was watching General Conference. Without fail, every question, doubt, worry, stress, and problem is resolved through the words of the prophets and apostles. I was immediately overcome with the spirit and I felt him work in me. My heart is changed, and my testimony strengthened. I just think that President Monson is the cutest man that ever happened! I love him so much. The most prominent thing I learned is to TRUST IN THE LORD. This message was either stated, or implied in every speaker's talk in all 4 sessions that I watched. Eventually, on the Lord's time, things will all work out and I will be okay. I am beyond grateful for the blessings the gospel of Jesus Christ brings into my life. I feel them every day, and I am so glad to be where I am. This weekend was perfect for me, and couldn't have been much better!

Peculiar Life.

Okay guys, I'm sorrrrrryyyy that I never blog!

Life has been a whirlwind since I left in August. Things are so challenging, and I struggle on a daily basis, but then I remember that I have the most amazing support team!

I've learned a whole lot about myself this year already, and it has already been such an incredible growing experience. The first batch of exams are over, and here comes round two.. you know me, I'll be losing sleep for the next two weeks until they're over.. actually, who am I kidding, it won't ever stop... but.. I'm learning a good lesson. It's called: BALANCE.

Balance by definition is "an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady." I struggled a lot last year with the concept of balancing school and social life... it tended to lean very heavily to the school part, and the social part was up in the air. I did, somehow, manage to score myself the perfect best friend, miss Laura Stoddard, she helped with the balancing.. but we studied together too. This year, however, I really wanted to gain new friendships, so I got out there. Our ward used to be GINORMICOUS, but then it got split so it's tiny. Before it split though, I went to a FHE activity and there I met my newest friend, Joshua.

A little about him: Josh is incredible! He's such a considerate friend. He is always there to lend a hand, to be a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, and... he's an incredibly gifted artist. He plays 7 instruments... crazy I know! and he's a very skilled writer, hence his major: English. I've had the privilege of spending a considerable amount of time with him over the last several weeks, and he's taught me so many things. He's one of the reasons I know God loves me so much.

I'm just living and learning. Sometimes things get too hard to handle, and that's when we need to humble ourselves and ask for help. In church the other day there was a quote read. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "if life gets too hard to stand, kneel". Probably my new motto for life. I just love the blessings!

I have the most incredible support system. Not only do I have my family, community, and best friends from Canada, but I get my American support team too! So many people are rooting for me, and I feel their love. It keeps me going when I feel like giving up, so a shout out to all of you! Thank you so much!

I've made a goal to go to the temple once a week. Laura goes with me, and we take turns driving. Yes, I do drive in the city! I'm basically a pro! :) Stick shift is sometimes stressful, but it all works out in the end. Anyway.. yesterday morning after the temple we were driving home and I was REALLY craving a burger. Take into consideration it's only 9 o'clock a.m. So... we went to Wendy's and no luck, they don't open until 10. We were so upset, but we thought we'd try Carl's Jr. just incase.... and... they were open! We got juicy burgers and fresh, hot fries. It was the best breakfast I have ever eaten in my life, no lie.

The most exciting thing is going to the mailbox and finding a letter. I have heard great news from a certain Elder Jacob Van den Akker, and he's doing amazing. I'm so proud of him. I miss him terribly, but when I have a down day I pull out those letters I've gotten and read them. I love the spirit missionaries have, they always have the right thing to say. I love the changes that are made in their hearts. All in all, they make me pretty proud.

That's life... there have been some super crazy events happen, but I'm too bored of writing, and my head hurts, so I think I might just take a nap, or do calculus... it's my favorite class in school. Everything just... makes sense. Never before have I experienced a burning love for math.. this is where Don McMurray was right, "if you like fun, and you like math... take calculus" Oh such words of wisdom! :) That was for you Carlene.... :) I love you all so much, thanks for reading!

Stress.

Okay, whoever said that college was the best years of their life must be a loon....

It's about time for me to go back to school, and I'm excited, but dreading it OH so much. This year I don't get my bookstore scholarship, which I really could have used! It doesn't really make sense to me to give 1000$ to freshman students, when they are just getting used to things and not really taking classes (well at least not me), but yet, they gave the money to them for books and other stuff. I blew mine on clothes because I only have to buy like 3 books... well now I could really use that $500 a semester! I think it would make more sense to give it to the returning students, who know where they are going in life and actually taking classes towards that goal! But I guess I think that because the thought of purchasing all these books just kills me. I have spending money and so this is just super crazy.

All in all I guess I don't have much room to complain... everyone else has to buy books too, but here's the one thing that erks me. Students get SCREWED! it costs what.. maybe 50 bucks to make a textbook... but they sell for like 100-200 bucks. Where does that seem reasonable? On top of tuition that's ridiculous why not break their banks and cause them more stress.

Now that I've ranted about that... I can calm down. School is going to be intense for me this year! I'm taking 5 classes, a total of 18 credit hours. I go from 7:30 am to 1:30 pm every day but Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesday I have an organic chemistry lab from 1:30 until 4:30 and on Thursdays I have no class. I look forward to that day already!

I'm so excited about my roommates! I am really sad that Laura isn't one of them, because we would have had the best year ever, but she only lives a block or two down the road... so there will still be plenty of sleepovers and girl's nights. But... Shreya, Kelly, Anisa, and I are going to have a blast! I already know they have my back, and I am glad I'm going to be with them. We're all serious about our educations.. and all really far from home! Plus, with them being from all over we have great potential to go somewhere GREAT for spring break.... Vegas.. Cali.. that's what I'm talking about! :)

Wish me luck for the new year, because I'm going to need it... a whole lot! But, this year I'm going to focus, but learn to balance time for myself too. I think exercise is just the perfect escape from the books. Talk to me in about a month and I will likely tell you that I have no time for exercise, but I can tell myself right now that it's going to happen!

....here it comes...

I woke up to breakfast in bed. I love sleeping at Laura's. Her dad made us pancakes and they were wonderful. After a much needed shower I got ready for the day and after sort of getting lost with Kathryn Stoddard we found the church. I felt kind of weird as I walked in, but Jacob was greeting people and after a hug I just felt good about being there. P.s. his hugs are the ultimate best! I just love them! We sat down and then sacrament meeting started. The dumb pulpit was blocking him but once he stood up to speak I could see him. He did an incredible job, and I found myself on the border of emotion. I didn't cry however.

After the meeting we went over to his house for snacks and to hang out. There were a bunch of people there, but every now and again I would catch a glimpse of him and it made me smile. :) I got to spend some time with Laura today, while at his house, and I just remembered how much I love her! She's hilarious!! Probably the best. :)

The group I was with left me, and I decided to hang around and just be with Jacob... cause turns out two years is a long time to not see someone!! I talked for like half an hour with his brother Patrick and girlfriend Becca... they were pretty awesome! Jacob and Patrick are so similar! Definitely brothers. They are all amazing with kids. There were three little boys (cousins) and Jacob was incredible with them. I discovered that I suck at playing frisbee... as I tossed it over the fence... twice.. :S .. but the sun was shining and it was just glorious!

That night we had a bonfire. After the fire I knew there was something I had to do.. Anyways... He left, and then I went in to bed. Turns out I was getting a little bit tired. I was leaving the next morning :( and NOT looking forward to it. But I'll be back in a month to be with Laura and we will have so many incredible adventures with each other again! but... no hiking Mt. Timpanogas. Bad idea. ;)

Saying goodbye was probably the hardest. Laura left for work early, and I showered and got ready for the drive home. We had breakfast at IHOP and then went back to Laura's and made banana bread with Kathryn and played the piano. I hate my life sometimes.. being emotionless when you want and even need to be emotional sucks... but as Laura pointed out, being emotional when you wish you could be emotionless sucks just as bad. I hugged Jacob like my life depended on it and then Justin came and picked me up. We drove home.

Quite possibly the BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE!!! Now... the next two years need to hurry up! :) Just kidding. But Elder Van den Akker is going to do a marvelous job, and I look forward to seeing him when he's back! I wish the best of luck to him in all he does, and hope he doesn't forget me while he's gone. ;)

Sun, sun, sun...

Well. Now that the weekend is over my life will NEVER be the same.

We rolled into Utah around 6 am and stopped at the Jones' house. At 8 o'clock we went to the Schwendiman's but nobody was awake so we slept in the car for an hour until someone opened the garage. We went inside, and I was too exhausted to sleep. Justin and Nicole crashed, but I just laid there on the love sac wishing that I could sleep. At noon J got up and Nicole left with the Atwood's for her weekend adventures. Laura was done work at 4 and going to get me, so we bummed around the Schwendiman's house until then... we ate at Cafe Rio best restaurant ever! and then Laura came. We did a little shopping and headed back to her house. We didn't have plans for that night, but I hoped that we could do something with Jacob... turns out he's a little brat and he had to write his talk.. But.. we went to a movie and it was great! Laura and I talked until around 2 am and after 44 hours of being awake I crashed.... for 4 hours. I woke up at 6 when someone upstairs was moving around..

Jacob had yard work to do that day, so I bummed around, soaked in the sun, and FINALLY at 4 o'clock Jacob came and got me for the adventures of the day... We went to the Oquirrh Mountain, Jordan River, Draper and Bountiful temples. Best day ever! After driving to the BIGGEST house we had both ever seen, dubbed "The Castle House", we went to Bountiful for supper and to watch the sun set. Probably the most romantic thing I've ever done... the sunset on the temple grounds. Call me a sucker, but it was one of the best nights of my life!

Remember that blanket I talked about earlier.. yeah.. it was for him. I gave it to him and he loved it! After the temple excursion we went back to his house and hung out with his parents. They are the greatest! Anne Van den Akker is probably one of the funniest ladies I know! And the combination of Ted and Anne just make me smile! So... Jacob had this teacher in high school who called him "Van deslacker" well.. the name fits (sometimes) because he never finished his talk! So I went home early so he could finish. Well. early wasn't so early.. because we talked in the driveway for half an hour.. :) well... he finally left... after two phone calls from his parents... oops!! Laura and I talked about that night, but not as much as before... It took us about an hour to pick out an outfit for me to wear to the farewell.. we finally decided and fell asleep. :) I thought this was the best day ever.... but....

Here Comes The Sun!

We made it! After a very long, but slightly entertaining ride Nicole and I made it to Utah. But... what's a road trip with a little adventure??? So... I'm about the DUMBEST driver in the world. Seriously.. I didn't even know how to cross the border alone, because when I'm not the driver I don't have to worry about it... the driver deals with it.... So she coached me through it. We made it fine. One step down, just the grueling mountain pass in Montana, a long and very boring Idaho, and then I'd be in Utah again!

We stopped in Dillon, Montana to pee because honestly I was dying... I asked the lady how to get back onto the freeway so we could continue on... she told me, but it was 1 in the morning and it went in one ear and out the other... So after taking a detour on a nice gravel road (listening to my gps) we made it back to gravel. Well I wasn't even paying attention to signs or speed, and I was driving and all of a sudden... lights start flashing. I got pulled over. I'm not proud of what I said, or what happened after that... but the officer came to my window and asked me how I was . Keeping my composure (very surprising considering the circumstances) I told him I was SO lost. He told me I was speeding, and whatnot. then we took my license and registration back to his car and I sat there for a half an hour... the same words coming out of my mouth... HALF AN HOUR! It was ridiculous. He came back, told me I was going to get a written warning, and I honestly thanked him (is that stupid?) for not giving me a ticket. haha. I'm such a nerd.... then I asked him if he could tell me how to get back to the I-15.. cause I was still lost..

All the while I didn't even cry. We zoomed on down the interstate and reached Rexburg by 2:30. Justin took over then.. which was a relief. Utah construction is crazy! We reached the Schwendiman's at 8 in the morning, and everyone crashed but me. I could not sleep. I was just too tired! Longest night of my life! But, adventures are still to be had! :) I didn't hit a deer, I didn't run out of gas, and I didn't fall asleep at the wheel. Nicole is safe, and I now know that I can do it! :)

1,196.6

Okay... so... ROADTRIP!!! I finally found someone to come to Utah with me! Woot! My twin Nicoley is going to join me in the drive from here to Rexburg...

When I talked her into coming with me I kind of maybe forgot the leaving at 6 pm Thursday night detail.. but she said yes and so I am not letting her back down on me. Only problem is.. she doesn't drive stick, so it's me driving all the way.. but at least she can help keep me awake! We'll make it to Rexburg at approximately 2 am Friday morning. Sometime shortly after we will leave to Utah, and after minimal sleep I will be with Laura again! Then.. while she's at work, I'm going to go temple hopping with Jacob. I'm so excited! We're going to take pictures around the temples in the valley.. it'll be such a swell time! :) I'm just super pumped to see the both of them! I know Jacob will make a most amazing missionary, and a week from today I will be hearing him speak! I can hardly wait!

Now... we haven't quite decided what we're going to do with Nicole.. but somehow we are going to get her to the Atwood residence where she will spend the weekend with her family. She's pretty stoked, as am I! We already decided that we are going to go along with what's already been and buy a whole lot of food and Dr. Pepper (and for her some insulin) ;) and be typical fat kids. Now... that's not out of the ordinary for me.. so of course you can only imagine how excited I am! Plus... I get to see Justin! It's quite exciting.

All that stands between three of the most amazing people in my life is 1,196.6 km. that's how long it is from Raymond to West Valley City... where two friends of mine live. Don't worry, I've got a GPS to get me to Rexburg. Then I've got a driver to get me the rest of the way :) YIPPEE!!!!

Roller Coaster Ride.

Yesterday my family (minus me) went to Rexburg, Idaho to visit my brother Justin. He didn't get to come home for July first, and so he was feeling a little homesick. They packed up and were on the road at about 10 o'clock on Saturday morning. I wasn't too sure what I was going to do to spend my time. I had planned on sleeping in but after seeing them off I just wasn't tired anymore.. so I watched a bit of tv, and then decided I might as well become a Gleek so that I fit in with the rest of my family.. I did it... I started at episode one.. 'just going to test it out' I told myself.... well, 5 episodes later I decided that it would be really appreciated by mom and dad if I mowed the lawn. It's like my chore... the kids do the bathrooms, I do the lawn.. but it's fine with me because I LOVE mowing the lawn. So I got out the key, opened the shed and fired 'er up. I finished my lawn, but was so deathly bored with my lack of friends and family that I decided I would mow the neighbours as well.. there isn't a current family living there, they moved out at the end of June, so the landlords had come once before to take care of the yard, but she is great with child... I mean GREAT... due at the end of the summer... so I decided that I would do some service and mow theirs as well. It wasn't really a big deal.. I love it anyway.

I pushed the mower over there and started.. then this car drove by really slow and I didn't think anything of it really.. I just thought maybe they were the people who were buying the house next and I had my story all worked out.. I was just going to say that I was the neighbour and knew nobody was in at the current moment so I would take care of the lawn. Well the man in the car stopped at the end of the block and just watched me for a minute or so.. it kind of freaked me out. I contemplated just pushing the mower back to my yard and going inside and dead bolting the house... then I looked at the ring I had mowed around the boulevard and knew I couldn't leave it like that... the perfectionist I am... and so I finished the boulevard and started on the main yard when the same car drove by again.. this time going the other direction. I didn't recognize the driver, but I wasn't wearing my glasses so maybe that had something to do with it.... but I finished that yard and decided to skip the back yard and just go lock myself in the house.. so that's what I did.

I was really nervous to sleep in the house alone, so I asked Neechel if she would come and sleep over. She said yes, so I let her in and immediately locked the door after her. Paranoid much? We had a blast! We watched some more Glee and had a dance party! We went to bed and woke up this morning very tired. We went to church like good little people do. That was like the climb of the roller coaster... and just when you reach the top you realize.. what goes up must come down....

I hate being alone... and with my family gone I am just feeling super lonely. To make it all worse... it's my Hannah's birthday today, she's turning the big EIGHT and I wasn't able to be with her on this happy day! I called Justin to see if I could talk to her.. but they didn't answer. He texted me and told me to get on skype, so I paused my episode of Glee and got on. I was almost too emotional to say happy birthday! How ridiculous is that. I had just watched a really awesome episode of Glee that touched me and made me tear up... for those who watch.. the one where they performed with the deaf school.. holy cow... So I was skyping her and my dad asked me what was wrong.. I had to choke back my tears as I told him I was just lonely.. I fought them the whole 10 minutes or so we chatted.

I'm not exactly sure what is happening to me! I guess I just have a lot on my plate.. I work full time, which means no vacations for me.. could be worse though, I could be going to summer school... still. I had to miss the 'spectacular' fireworks in Idaho and the fun little family party. There are other reasons... but I guess I'll just sum those up by the words to one of my favorite songs... "she's in love with the boy... what's meant to be will always find a way..." well. That's my sob story for you today..

A Tribute.

I just wanted to make it clear that I have the most AMAZING friends in the world!

A. Justin Rex Baker has been my best friend for a long long time. He's the person I go to for advice in all my sticky situations and when the drama of life appears. He is an incredible example and leader of our family *sibling wise anyway* I miss him too much. When he went on his mission I was devastated... for a while.. then we started growing in the gospel, which enhanced our relationship by a HUNDRED times. He's my go-to. I love him to pieces and I just wanted to tell everyone how much I love him! Honestly, the greatest brother ever. :)

B. Stephanie Lynn Drew. Okay, so we've been best friends for a while now. Since.. about grade 9. But... we weren't always that way. We actually used to hate each other. Funny. We fought over a best friend and look where we ended up! I love this girl to death and I trust her with my life! She is so strong, and we have a lot of things in common. Her family is my second family, and I love them all! Though we've drifted a little bit in this past year, we can still get together and have a great time.... her new favorite past time. Knitting. She's making me something special :) hahaha! If she read this she'd laugh. I know I sure did! :) I love her. Nothing else needs to be said.

C. Laura Lynn Stoddard. What a blessing! She is my newest best friend. I love her to pieces. We met in... unusual circumstances and if you ask her she'll just laugh. Good thing I'm kind of a stalker, or I wouldn't have met her.. or my other friend from Utah! (see E.) She is honestly the greatest! Her and her family helped me find a home in Utah. I hated it there until my Heavenly Father blessed me with this friend. She was an answer to my pleading, and I thank Him every day for the wonderful blessing Laura is. I'm excited to get back to her! She's hilarious. We've had some pretty awkward moments.. and many, many late nights just talking and laughing. It's a pretty perfect friendship!

D. Nicole Pamela Martin. She's my one and only twin. We discovered that we share a date of birth. Therefor making us twins... and well.. our cousins are cousins. No big deal. :) I love her! She just graduated from high school. Yep. Now she's all grown up and going to experience the stress of the real world. Best of luck. :) haha. Nicole is like my clone. Honestly we should have been twins. We have one major difference though. She's diabetic. Probably the worst diabetic I've ever known. ;) She knows it, so it's okay that I say that. For anyone who really knows me... I hate hospitals. But.. one day I got home from a hard day's work and I had a message from her mother telling me she was in the hospital. I sucked it up and went and visited with her for two hours while she was there. I know.. I'm such a good friend. ;) hahaha. just kidding. I just felt it a good thing to do to visit her while she was there. And it was fine. I survived. I love her. We've had quite the history but we suck it up and get over it. All in all... I'm really glad we're friends.

E. Jacob McClure Van den Akker. Okay.. This is the friend Laura introduced me too... again we had kind of a strange meeting. Story of my life. So.. Jacob got his mission call to Seattle, Washington. He leaves in approximately 18 days. Not that I'm counting or anything. (really I'm not... I just counted it out on my calendar for this post.) I just really love this kid! He's one of the best friends I've ever had. He's a pretty big part of who I am today. He knows me almost better than I know myself. He is so great to talk to, he reminds me a lot of my dad. When things in my life get rough I go to him because he gives the BEST advice, and he helps me realize that life is okay.. and challenges are given to everyone. It's what we do with them that make us either better, or worse! I'm going to Utah in 5 days to say farewell, and as hard as it will be it will be worth it! I just want to say a big thank you and congratulations to him on doing the right thing and I'm SO SO proud! :)

F. Carlene Janet Palmer. Oh my lantus I love this girl! She is doing her practicum and the U of A hospital to become an x-ray tech! She'll be graduated in May of '11 and I am so happy for her. As much as I wish she could have gone to Weber with me, she knows that this was the best decision for her. She's a greatest! Recently we had a tea party with Steph, and it was wonnaful! :) (that's the accent we all know and love). Carlene was my Physics friend, and honestly without her DRAGGING me there I probably wouldn't have gone. She forced me to take Physics 30 with her, and I'm so glad I did. We had some splendid times... even though I was called "the class disturbance". Our lives are so different, but what I love about our friendship is that no matter how long it's been since we've talked or seen each other, the instant we are together it's like we never left! I can't wait for her to experience her first boyfriend! :) T'will be a hot topic to talk about when it happens! We can share all the juicy details! :)

G. Last but certainly not least.... Neechel Kymber Steed. I love this little girl so much! She is one foxy mama. We have had so many amazing times together.. starting back in good old grade 9.. we were the oddest pair of friends you could ever see.. Me being close to giant, and her close to midget. I bet anyone who saw found great pleasure. :) despite our height difference we were as close as sisters. Now we're different people living different lives, but we still find on occasion a chance to play. I'm the friend she chooses when she needs a rescue from a date... in other words, she calls me when she needs a double. She is a gorgeous young girl... whoever gets her in the end will be the luckiest man alive! She's hard working and terrific with kids. We have similar goals in life, and I am glad she's my friend!

I do have many more wonderful friends! And I thank all of them for helping me find who I am in this world. All of them are such wonderful examples to me and make me strive to live a better life! Love you guys!!

Surprises!

Today was an alright day. I got to sleep in until 10 o'clock! That was a nice treat. Then I got ready for work and headed out at 11:45. I ran into some road construction on Hwy 52 but luckily I didn't have to stop I was on the straightway. The work day was busy. I got there and Ray said to me "Guess what you get to do" and of course I knew that they had saved the order for me.... not that I mind because I'd prefer to do the order and stay in the back room alone and not have to talk to anyone! Oh... I never told you this, but that same lady who called me stupid and her husband came in yesterday. I didn't realize it was them until I looked out the window and she was just smiling at me like nothing was wrong and she HADN'T completely insulted me the weekend before. Well, I just glared at her (I know. how unprofessional) then I made sure to keep myself busy so that I would not be the one to ring their stuff through the till this time. And never again. You are allowed to do that... refuse to help people. I found that out a couple weeks ago. So I'm relieved. Except, I would feel really dumb if I just refused to help someone, but there are plenty of staff that can handle her BS but I just won't.

It was super hot today (or so I hear) and there were tornado warnings for Brooks and area because of the rapid heat increase. That's great. They've had the most weather warnings of any area this spring and my family is heading out there for a week to go camping and do summer games.... please bless the weather cooperates and they come home in one piece!

Tomorrow night I am going to ECLIPSE!!! woot woot. I hear it's good, so I will just have to wait and see. Then Thursday is the FIRST! Time to party! I get the day off, but I get paid for it! I love stat. holidays! :) Um. I miss my friend Justin. I wish he was going to be here for the first. Actually. I wish all of my family was going to be here! They are the greatest, and being the oldest just isn't fun. :( But grandma and Aunty are coming over so that's wonderful.

Oh... the reason I titled this post "surprises" was because I had a few today. I woke up and came upstairs to get ready for work when I looked out the window and couldn't see my car. Strange, I thought. Because I know I locked it last night, and the spare keys aren't inside anymore. I kind of freaked out a minute, but then Han told me dad had it.. that was fine. Then we did 200 scrips at work today.... for those of you who don't think it's a big deal.. it is. :) haha. and then I came home and found my mom and dad mostly finished tying the quilt! Now it's just sewing the back to the front (first completing those darn corners) and then sewing!! I'm SO unbelievably excited to have it finished... and I'm actually really proud at the way it turned out. :) I'll post pictures after it's given! :) T minus 8 days and I'm gone! :) whoop!

My Mother!

My mom is one of the most amazing people I know! She has been through so much in her life.. Things I know I couldn't handle. She's strong in the gospel and such an incredible example to me.

I've never really done anything out of the ordinary on Mother's Day.. I don't really like to show my affection to people and so usually I go the day (Father's Day as well) without saying an appreciative Happy Day to them. I know it makes me sound like such a horrible person, but it's just not something I've really ever been comfortable doing. But this year I decided I was going to change that.

This year I promised my mom that I was going to take her for a pedicure when we both had the time to do it. It kind of became a lost promise for a month and a bit because I was always working during the days and she was busy with the other kids.... but finally this week it happened! I found out that service really does bring you closer to someone. They made me get out of bed on my day off to mow the lawn. Not a big deal because I absolutely LOVE mowing the lawn, but when I came in I was all sweaty and gross. I took a shower, making sure to shave my legs because this was the day we were finally going to get out pedicures! (for those of you who really know me you know that I hardly shave my legs!) After I showered I was just hanging out in the living room watching tv or something when I noticed the doors to the van were opened and the vacuum was just chilling in the driveway. I asked my dad about it and he said that mom had started cleaning out the van but had rushed to the little kid's soccer practice and left it. I decided that I would go out and finish the vacuuming and wash the dash so I did just that. I loved it! When she got home I was just finishing and she was really happy that I had done it for her.

We rounded up some ice water and headed into Lethbridge. We stopped by Marshall's fabric to pick out the back for my quilt, but only found really ugly patterns and stuff that wasn't suitable for a 19 year old boy. :) We went to Walmart with hopes that there would be something, and we found just some plain red fabric that was relatively cheap. So we bought it and then headed to the mall. I was so excited!

She really enjoyed the experience and we just got to hang out and treat ourselves to a nice spa day. It was an awesomely fun time! She said that we just might have to come back and do it again! It costed me quite a bit, but she's worth it. She's invested so much in me that I cannot even EVER begin to repay her for it!

That night I had one of the most awful dreams of my entire life. I dreamt we got the news that she had cancer. I woke up that morning scared to death and I prayed with all my heart that it would never come true. I love my mom and I appreciate everything she does for me, even if I never tell her I do. I'm excited for her to be going to Martin's Cove this summer because I know the experience will change her life! She's such a super mom and she gives so much support to all of us kids! She really really wants a grandbaby to hold... but I can't give that to her any time soon.. Justin you'd better get crackin' down there!!! ;) just kidding. all in due time.

I'm Lame.

Okay, so I know nobody reads this because perhaps I'm the most boring kid on the planet..... but here goes post number 3.

I LOVE working in the pharmacy. Some days the hours drag on, but when you have the right attitude and take time to enjoy it's really nice. I'm learning SO many new things and just absolutely soaking in the experience! A downside to it all is the limited amount of time I can have off. Which I can't complain about because I'm making decent money and I am only there for the summer so I don't really deserve a lot of time off, but I wish I had just a bit more so I could actually vacate during this 'summer vacation' I'm on. But other than that I really have no other complaints.

Just this past week some old couple were yelling at me because I didn't know everything. The lady was like "if he had 30 pills how many days do you think that lasts?" I don't fill their prescriptions or anything, so I had NO idea, and I replied "I would say 30" and she was like "no. he takes one and a half a day, so it only lasts 20 days. don't they teach you how to count in school?" I apologized that I didn't know and then she was like "you're stupid" RIGHT TO MY FACE!!!!! I was on the verge of tears for the rest of the afternoon. My face was BEET red. I came home that day and cried to my dad. I was so shocked that people can be so rude! But, I guess I just need to get used to it because some people are just anal. That's a really popular word at work.

My boss Don is THE best boss ever. He is so generous and amazing. He has boughten me lunch 3 times. One time is was just a burger, the other Vietnamese and this last Saturday he ordered in Panago pizza. It was delicious! He's just the best!

T minus 11 days to my fast tracked trip to UTAH!!! I can hardly wait! A. I get to roadtrip with my favorite sibling JUSTIN!!! woot! B. I get to spend time with one of my very best friends Laura Stoddard and C. I am DYING to see Jacob again! He's been called to the Seattle, WA mission leaving on July 21. I'm really excited and so extremely proud of him!

These days to keep my time occupied I sewed a jean blanket. For anyone who has done this you understand that it's not the easiest thing in the world to do, but they always turn out beautiful! It's a gift for a friend of mine and I am so excited about it! Tomorrow night I am finishing it with my mom and then it will officially be finished and ready to go! :) Woot! Yay for being domestic.... but I must confess. I broke not one, but TWO serger needles. Yeah... I'm embarrassed. Not too skilled. I guess sewing over a button is probably not a good idea.... :S haha. After breaking the second needle my dad said to me "Jessica, do you know how many quilts your mom has sewn without having a problem at all, this is your second needle on one project" I should have replied to him "Well dad... she just wore out the needles.. by the time I came around they were too worn out and they broke." But I'm not quick on my toes and I didn't say that.

That's all I have for now. :)