Nineteen.

Being nineteen is:

A Joy.

An emotional roller coaster.

A challenge.

An adventure.

A turning point.

A learning experience.

Nineteen is weird.

In our church, nineteen is the age that men are called to go on missions. Nineteen is the age my oldest brother left me, a struggling, self-conscious, high school student, to serve the Lord. This was my first real experience with missionary work, and one I'll never forget. It took a long time before I was okay with him being gone... I cried more then than I ever had in my life. But soon enough I learned the value of true friendship, and being close to someone through the Lord. I thrived on his power, his oneness with the Spirit, and his ability to sort out my hardships...even while he was hundreds of miles away. Justin's choice to serve a mission was a pivotal point in my life.

The move to Utah for school was challenging. A number of things got me through... including his letters to me. He helped me with the change, and I soon understood the reasons he was so passionate about Utah and his determination to reside here. Through him and his advice, I found a home in this state, and I love him for helping me see.

Since my experience with Justin, I've had many more encounters with missionaries. Being nineteen myself, I'm now of the age where my friends are serving missions. "It's not always easy, but it's always worth it" comes to mind when I think of my experiences. I could list all the missionaries I absolutely love, but I won't. :)

I love the changes I see in the way they act, the way they 'talk', and the huge spiritual leap they make as they submerse themselves in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love hearing from them.. like I've said before, I live day to day checking the mailbox. Sometimes I'll get 3 letters a week, sometimes only 1.. but it doesn't matter the number. All that matters is that these boys, or men I should say, are growing and I get to be a part of it.

I love the letters that make me smile. The ones that make me laugh. The ones that bring tears too close to the surface. I love the words of inspiration written to me. Each missionary writes a little something that I need to hear.. it just amazes me that they can have direction in their writing to what I need in my life. I love the stories they share that make me slap my forehead and whisper "embarrassing!".

Each missionary is unique, no one ever the same. This is a huge blessing, and it's so amazing to have such wonderful friends! Being nineteen is weird, but it's worth it. With each letter written a small portion of my life is changed. I'm becoming a new person through them. It's such a wonderful experience!

As hard as it is to see them go, it's going to be ever better when they come home changed men! And I get to be a part of the process. It means the world to me, and I wouldn't choose it any other way.

I've gotten a few letters this week, each with words of inspiration and admiration. I love to get mail, so if you ever want to send me something... just let me know! :) Care packages are always nice... not that I'm hinting or anything... ;)